simon.

a couple of weeks ago, i found a photo on my brother's computer that i had lost last year when my computer perished. it was the above photo of michael's hands and of simon, my ruby-throated hummingbird. i found simon one afternoon after class. i heard a noise, looked down, and at first thought it was a dragonfly. upon closer inspection, however, i discovered that it was a beautiful hummingbird that had one bad wing and was struggling to fly. i was thrilled at the discovery, as i had never seen a real, live hummingbird. so, filled with compassion, i took simon home, holding him in the palm of my hand all the way. occasionally he would try to fly away, only to be reminded that he could only flutter downward to the floorboard. i kept him for a few days, feeding him sugar-water from a spoon (which he lapped up with his threadlike tongue) and taking him for "walks." our walks consisted of me carrying simon to various flowers in the back and front yards to see which ones he enjoyed. his favorite was a vine that had thousands of tiny white flowers blooming. eventually i decided that i could no longer give simon the care he needed. so, reluctantly, i took him to the wildlife rescue mission and charged them with healing my sick friend. i hope he became well enough to fly again.

earlier today i was reading nouwen's "the wounded healer" when i was struck something he said about prayer. writes nouwen, "prayer is not a pious decoration of life, but the breath of human existence." this sums up a lot of what i've been feeling of late. all my longings and joys, pains and trials of life, struggling to find meaning for them within my spiritual existence. prayer, says nouwen, is the very essence of being alive.

as i was mulling over this in my head, i was reminded of a prayer that i said every sunday for ten years at [st. francis of assisi episcopal] church. when i was younger, this prayer had little meaning for me. as i grew older, though, beginning to understand and develop my own faith, this prayer became very meaningful for me, as things do when one grows older. this prayer is commonly called the "prayer of st. francis," and is widely attributed to him.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that i may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

in remembrance of simon, i will note briefly that Francis of Assisi is the patron saint of birds, animals, and the environment.